


Mapping Denial

by Sermocinare



Category: Penny Dreadful (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Complicated Relationships, Developing Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Polyamory, Self-Doubt, really the relationships are all over the place in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-07 11:02:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1896612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sermocinare/pseuds/Sermocinare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With his oldest - only? - friend heading off to Japan for half a year, Victor discovers that the social life he didn't think he had is suddenly a lot more complicated than he could ever have imagined. Especially since there's no one there to distract him from the nagging feeling that he might actually like to have a love life. With a certain anthropology student who already has more of a love life than he can handle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“You're not mad, are you, Victor?”

“No.”

It was the sixth time in as many weeks that Proteus had asked him that same question, and every time Victor had given the same answer, but Proteus didn't seem to believe him. Which spoke for Proteus' ability to read people, and against Victor's ability to lie.

Sighing, Victor's roommate and oldest (only) friend sat down on the bed opposite Victor's and ran a hand over his tightly-cropped hair: “Listen, I know you're mad. And I get it. You feel like I'm abandoning you, leaving you all alone for six months. But you know I've got to do this, right?”

“I know.”

Victor clenched his jaw, looking out of the window that overlooked the open spaces that outlined campus like a neutral zone, buffering it from the rest of the world. Or maybe buffering the rest of the world from them. 

Proteus was right, of course. This internship was a godsend for any aspiring marine engineer. Unfortunately, it was halfway around the globe, too. Which meant that Victor would be completely, utterly alone for half a year.

“And you won't be completely alone,” Proteus said, as if he had read Victor's thoughts.

“Hm.”

That was easy to say for someone like Proteus, whose extroverted, sunny disposition and ready smile made it easy for people to befriend him. Victor, on the other hand, was pretty much the polar opposite. 

“You've got the Society, right?”

“True,” Victor conceded. The other members of the Society for the Appreciation of the Macabre – otherwise known as the Horror Club – were as close to friends as Victor had outside of Proteus. Especially Vanessa and Ethan, though if he were quite honest, Ethan also intimidated him somewhat, which usually resulted in low-level hostility.

Victor felt the mattress of his bed dip as Proteus sat down next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders: “Also, we're going to skype a lot, right? It's not that I don't feel nervous about this. I'm hella nervous. And I'll probably be a lot more lonely than you, so I need my lifeline. You.”

Victor finally turned his head to look at his friend, and was struck by the most deadly puppy dog eyes the world had ever known. He couldn't be mad at Proteus. Hell, pretty much nobody could. 

Victor smiled, and shook his head fondly: “Don't be silly. You'll be followed around by a gaggle of young Japanese women from the moment you set foot on the island. People love you.”

Proteus grinned, and pulled Victor in to kiss his forehead: “Well, people love you, too. You just have to let them now and then.”

The words gave Victor's heart a short stab. Sometimes, he wondered what might have happened if Proteus and him hadn't been this close. Didn't feel like family. There were times when he asked himself if maybe he was in love with Proteus after all, but at the same time, the mere thought felt strange. 

“How about, as a peace offering, I promise to get you the most realistic Godzilla figurine I can find?”

“Okay,” Victor chuckled, “but only from the original movie. None of that remake crap.”

“Done and done.”

–

Victor didn't feel like going out, but staying in his dorm room was disconcerting, too. Proteus' side of the room was just so empty. Sure, the posters were still there, as were some of his books and of course the plants Victor had promised to take care of, and would probably kill. “For an aspiring doctor, you're really not good with living things,” Proteus always joked. But everything else... 

Victor's train of thought was interrupted by a knock on the door. He blinked, then got up to open the door.

“Hello Victor,” Vanessa said, giving him one of her enigmatic smiles. 

Victor ran a hand through his hair, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards: “Hello Vanessa. Um, what can I do for you?” Somehow, Vanessa always made him a bit nervous. It was probably the way she looked at people, as if she could see right through them and into the deepest, darkest parts of their soul, parts that Victor would rather not have anyone see. He was sure she would make a great psychologist one day.

“I've come to pick you up for the meeting.”

Victor shook his head, slightly irritated: “You've never done that before.”

“Well,” she said slyly, “I had this vague notion that you might feel inclined to hole yourself up and refuse to face the world on your own, and I think that would be a bad idea.”

“So you've taken it on yourself to be my chaperone.”

“Let's say I would sincerely miss your presence at the meetings.” Stepping inside and next to him, Vanessa hooked her arm underneath his: “So I'll let you escort me.”

Victor couldn't help but chuckle. Vanessa was a very strange, fascinating person, and if his inclinations had run that way, he might have even thought about asking her out on a date. “Let me put on my shoes, and I'll gladly do my chivalrous duty.”

Vanessa kept her arm hooked underneath Victor's for the whole walk to the empty classroom that served as their meeting room, only letting go once they arrived there. 

“Hey you two,” Brona greeted them, then waved Victor over to her: “Have you heard anything from Proteus yet?”

Victor slid into the chair next to her, his eyes flitting over to Ethan for a few seconds before answering: “Yes. He sent me an e-mail that he's arrived safely, and that the apartment he's living in is barely larger than our dorm room. And that includes a bathroom. No kitchen, though.”

“What, ain't he supposed to eat?” Brona said, laughing.

Victor chuckled: “That's pretty much what he said. But apparently there's take-out to be bought everywhere, and according to the schedule they gave him, he won't be spending much time at home anyway.”

“Poor boy.”

“Has anyone seen Dorian?” Vanessa looked over at the door, which they had only passed through a few minutes ago, but then, they had already been late themselves. “Is he coming today?”

“Fuck if I know,” Ethan said with a short huff. 

It was hardly a secret that there was something brewing between Vanessa and Dorian, and even less  
of one that Ethan wasn't too happy about it. Victor had so far not quite figured out what exactly it was that went on between Ethan and Vanessa, but whatever it was, it didn't change the fact that Ethan was extremely protective of her. Then again, Ethan was extremely protective of a lot of people. Except for, well, him. 

“Well since when has he ever been on time.” Brona shook her head, then reached for Ethan's hand, who took it and pressed it to his lips with a smile. “Let's start without him.”

15 minutes later, Dorian slipped through the door and into the seat next to Vanessa: “What did I miss?”

“Vampiric evolution,” Vanessa half-whispered back, seeking out Dorian's gaze. “But we're not that far in yet. Ethan was just elaborating on the various types of blood or soul sucking fiends that exist in different cultures.”

“Nothing like an anthropologist to widen your horizons.” Smiling, Dorian sat back in his chair, but not without letting his pinky finger slide along Vanessa's.

Vanessa smiled, raising one of her eyebrows slightly: “Is that so?”

“Or maybe a psychologist... there's nothing quite as intriguing as the human mind, with its deep and hidden places, don't you think?”

Victor couldn't help but visibly roll his eyes. Couldn't they keep their flirting to after the meeting? Not that he had any doubts that it would continue at that point. Which meant that he'd probably have to walk home alone. Again.


	2. Chapter 2

“Frankenstein!”

Oh, God. Victor stopped in his tracks, his shoulders and jaw tensing up. Taking a deep breath, he drew himself up a little before turning around.

“Caliban. What do you want?”

Caliban waltzed up to him, not stopping until he was right in Victor's personal space, and gave him a fake smile: “I just wanted to ask you if you've heard anything from my little brother yet.”

“Yes.” The corners of Victor's mouth twitched upwards a little: “Haven't you? How horrible. What with you two being so close.” His tone was dripping with sarcasm, and he lifted his brows a little.

Every time Victor met Caliban – which, in his opinion, was way too often – he couldn't help but wonder how Proteus and Caliban could possibly be related to each other. Really, this had to be either a case of very weird genetics or secret adoption, because where Proteus was friendly, good-natured and gentle, Caliban was, well, a complete jerk. Who had apparently made it a personal mission to destroy every shred of happiness Victor could find, or why else would he have followed him here. Proteus said that it was because Caliban was lonely and had the social skills of someone raised by grizzly bears (and the visage of one to boot, but that was a thought Victor usually kept to himself), but Victor knew better. 

Caliban stepped even closer, causing Victor to step back and almost bump into another student. If only that guy weren't so large. But the way it was, all Victor had in means of fighting back was words. 

“Poor Victor, all alone in the world. Although, didn't I see you with Vanessa yesterday evening? Oh, no, that must have been a mirage, seeing how she spent the rest of the evening with Dorian.”

“Oh, so you've taken your stalking to include other people now?” The thought made anger rise in Victor's chest. He was used to Caliban's creepy behavior, having been around him since school, but the idea of Caliban sneaking around Vanessa...

“I hope you know she's completely out of your league.”

“You know what?” Victor spat, drawing himself up to his full – unimpressive – height, “yes, she's out of my league. But maybe I don't even want to date her. Maybe I'm happy enough with her being my friend. And,” he said, smiling nastily, “that would still put me up as having more girls wanting to associate with me than with you.”

Victor could see Caliban's eyes flash with anger, so he stepped around the guy and quickly hurried off to his class. One day, he would put an end to this. One day.

–

Out of the corner of his eye, Victor saw a tray being put down next to him on the table, and he looked up into Brona's winning smile: “Hey, Vic. Whatcha got there?” Brona took a closer look at the pages of Victor's book and raised her eyebrows: “Doesn't look very appetizing.”

She sat down next to him, with Ethan taking the free seat on the other side. 

“Pathologies of the lungs,” Victor said. “The professor showed us some cross-sections today, from the lungs of coal miners and smokers to those affected with tuberculosis. It was rather impressive.”

“You know, my grandma died from TB. Got sent to one of those sanatoriums, but she still died when my dad was only eight. Coughed herself to death,” Brona said in a chatty tone while laying out her cutlery. “Makes me glad I only got asthma.”

Victor chuckled: “Not quite as bad as coughing blood all over the place, yes. Or drowning in your own body's fluids. But really, it's a quite interesting disease. Most people think it only gets your lungs, but it can actually affect other parts of the body, too. And did you know that it's on the rise again? There are some drug-resistant strains that...”

“Jesus, could you stop being morbid for half an hour and let a guy eat his lunch in peace?” Ethan said, rolling his eyes. 

“Says the guy who spent yesterday evening talking about blood-sucking horrors of the night,” Victor retorted. “Also, if I recall correctly, didn't you talk about wanting to accompany your professor to Africa to study the burial rites of some ancient culture?”

“That's different from talking about people coughing up blood while others are trying to enjoy their tomato soup.”

“I didn't know you were so squeamish, Ethan,” Victor said with a small smirk.

“Better than being a morbid fuck,” Ethan growled. 

“Now, now, boys, stop fighting.” Vanessa's voice carried that note of amusement it often had when she inserted herself into a fight between Victor and Ethan. “We're all a happy family, aren't we?”

She slid into the free seat next to Ethan, with Dorian sitting down next to her. Victor could see Brona tensing up immediately. While she was fine with Dorian attending the club's meetings, she always seemed to get nervous around him outside of those occasions. Victor sometimes wondered why that was. Sure, there were rumors of Dorian and her having been an item for a short while, but somehow Victor sensed that there was more than a simple breakup involved. 

“Speaking of happy, there's a party going down in the student center tonight,” Ethan said, reaching out to gently touch Brona's fingers while looking around at the assembled faces, “any of you weirdos want to come along?”

Hearing that word, weirdo, from anyone else would have made Victor snap at them in anger, but Ethan had a way of turning what should have been an insult into a term of endearment. 

“Why not,” Dorian said, then took Vanessa's hand, “provided this beautiful creature will accompany me.”

“It would be my pleasure.” Vanessa smiled at Dorian, then turned to Victor: “Will you be coming, too?”

Victor frowned, pressing his lips together: “I'm not really a party person.”

“Aw, come on, Victor,” Ethan grinned, “it's going to be fun. And you got to get out of that dorm room of yours now and then. Especially since you're all alone in it now.”

For a moment, Victor wondered if Vanessa had roped everyone in on her plan of getting him to socialize more during Proteus' absence. Or maybe Proteus was actually the mastermind behind it all, who knew. 

“Yeah, come along, it's gonna be fun,” Brona said, nudging him in the ribs.

“All right, all right,” Victor grumbled. 

Who knew, maybe it would be fun.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been fun, right up until the moment things got out of control. Which was probably after Victor had had his third tequila. He really, really shouldn't drink, and he probably would never do it again. There was, apparently, a high price to be paid.

Victor threw a nervous glance over at Ethan, who managed to look almost completely unperturbed by all of this, even though he was sporting an impressive black eye and a cut on his upper lip which, Victor had to admit, looked kind of dashing. 

They had been sitting in the dean's office for almost a minute now without anyone speaking. Then, Mr. Sembene sighed, leaning back in his chair and looking at first Victor, then Ethan.

“Mr. Frankenstein, Mr. Chandler. Please explain to me why I should let you continue to study at my university after putting three of your fellow students into the hospital.”

“Victor has nothing to do with it,” Ethan said immediately, straightening up. “If you want to expel someone, expel me, but he didn't even touch those bastards.”

There was a flash of warmth flooding Victor's chest, and he couldn't help a quick smile. Ethan was still trying to protect him, even though it wasn't technically true that he hadn't touched anybody.

“Your chivalry is commendable, Mr. Chandler, but those three young men have told me a different story. They say that you,” here, dean Sembene's eyes turned towards Victor, whose smile immediately faded underneath the scrutiny, “provoked the fight in the first place.”

“Well I did shove one of them. Lightly. But really, I...”

“He was only defending himself!”

“I believe I was talking to Mr. Frankenstein,” the dean said coolly, then turned back to Victor.

“Ethan, I mean Mr. Chandler, is right, I was defending myself. I thought they were going to punch me.”

Which was the honest to god truth. Victor had been, and still was, sure that the Phi Beta Delta whom he had just called an insult to the concept of evolution because he was clearly a throwback to early Homo habilis – the offending part in all of this apparently being “homo” - would have punched him in the face if Victor hadn't tried to shove his way out of there. 

“You _thought_ they were going to punch you.”

“Well, they did!” Here, Victor pointed to the bruise on his cheek.

Dean Sembene folded his hands on top of his desk: “And this was before Mr. Chandler got involved?”

“...not exactly.”

“Then how did it happen, exactly?”

Victor bit his lip. This was the point where things got a bit... fuzzy. Well, fuzzier. It wasn't as if he had been under full possession of his mental capacities before that.

“What happened,” Ethan cut in, “was that those guys were harassing and threatening Victor. Three huge guys. Against...” here, Ethan gestured at Victor, who was quite evidently not a huge guy. “You're not telling me that I should have just let them go ahead with it?”

Silence descended on the room, the dean obviously pondering the situation. Finally, he heaved a sigh: “Let's say that the next time, I would prefer that you don't send anyone to the hospital.”

With that, dean Sembene turned back to his papers, shooing Ethan and Victor out with an impatient wave of his hand. 

“Oh shit,” Victor said when they had finally left the administration building, “I thought we were done for.”

“Nah,” Ethan said, but his voice wasn't quite as self-assured as it usually was, “he wouldn't have thrown us out for that. I met him once at one of Prof. Murray's get-togethers. He used to be in anthropology, too. Something about religions. Anyway, he seemed quite chill.”

“And well, after all it was self-defense. Or rather, you defending me.” Victor smiled, throwing Ethan a glance out of the corners of his eyes. “Thank you for that.”

Ethan grinned: “Buddy, you've already thanked me like a dozen times, so stop, all right? I told you, you're one of my people, and I don't make a habit of standin' by when someone tries to fuck with my people.”

Victor felt a bit flushed at those words, and desperately hoped that his ears weren't turning red. Yes, the evening had ended in a fistfight, followed by a terrible hangover in the morning, but he was still glad he had gone to the party. After all, it had brought Ethan and him closer together, which was... nice. Yes. Nice.

“Say,” Victor started up after a while, mostly because they were getting near his dorms, “I've wanted to ask you... could you maybe show me a few tricks? I mean, with fighting?” He chuckled: “I think it's pretty clear that I'm utterly shit at it, and I'd like to at least be able to defend myself.” He smiled again: “In case you're not there.”

“Oh, that's no problem,” Ethan said, then grinned almost wolfishly: “But you do realize it's going to hurt, right? I can guarantee you that you'll be hobbling home more than once.”

Victor made a face, then nodded. Well, yes, he had already figured it would. But it would be worth it, of that he was sure. 

“Then how about we meet Wednesday at 6 in the gym? I'll show you a few basic things, and then you can decide of you want to continue or not.”

“Great!” Victor said, a huge grin on his face. Then, he tried to curb his enthusiasm a bit: “I mean, I'll be there.”

“See you Wednesday, then, champ,” Ethan said with a small wave, leaving Victor standing at the door to his dorms. 

Yes. It had absolutely been worth it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the reason for the "Mental Health Issues" tag, so if the mention of psychosis, psychiatric hospitals or drugs gives you anxiety, proceed with caution!

“She's had a psychotic break.”

“Oh, shit.” Proteus ran his hands over his face and stubbly hair, one of his hands coming to rest at the back of his neck.

Victor could see his own worry mirrored on Proteus' face, and for a moment he fervently wished that Proteus was here, sitting next to him, giving him one of those hugs that made everything better, no matter how bad it was. But Proteus was in Japan, and you couldn't hug someone through a computer screen. 

“How is she? They put her in the ward again?”

Victor nodded, but then a small smile crept over his face: “She's home now, though. They released her pretty quickly, which was a good decision, seeing how hospitals usually make her worse.” 

“Can't say I blame her,” Proteus said, grimacing slightly, his fingers lightly touching the scar on the side of his head in an unconscious gesture. 

It was one of the things Victor had always admired about Proteus. Other people would have tried to hide away a scar like that, but Proteus had always refused to do so, seeing it not as a thing to be ashamed of, but rather as a reminder that he had survived. 

“Ethan and I are going over there soon. Professor Murray has a seminar he can't cancel, so we're looking after her for a while,” 

“Poor Vanessa.” Proteus bit his lip, then gave Victor a half-smile: “But it's good she has you guys to take care of her. Give her a hug from me, yes?”

“Shall do. Now, you go and catch some sleep. I don't want another of my friends breaking down, you hear me? I'll keep you updated on how she's doing.”

“Yes, dad,” Proteus said, laughing.

Victor joined in, chuckling and shaking his head. 

They said their goodbyes, and Victor sneaked a glance at the clock ticking away on his desktop. Time to get ready, Ethan would be here in less than half an hour. He should take one of his volumes of poetry along. Vanessa was one of the few people who shared his love for poems, and maybe it would help her put her mind in a better place. 

–

“Thank you for being willing to look after her,” Mr. Murray said as soon as Victor and Ethan had stepped inside the late afternoon gloom of the house. “I'm afraid she's not in a good place.”

“Not a problem,” Ethan replied, shrugging out of his trademark duster. 

“How is she, exactly?” Victor said, his brow furrowing in worry, gaze wandering up the broad wooden staircase.

“It depends,” Professor Murray replied, “sometimes she's lucid, others she can barely keep her eyes open, not even talking about keeping a thought together. She's still heavily medicated.”

“Guess we'll see,” Ethan said, starting up the staircase, Victor following on his heels. 

Giving the door a short knock, Ethan didn't really wait for an invitation before stepping inside the room: “Vanessa?”

“Oh, look. The boys are here.”

Victor tried his best to not let his worries show as he stepped up next to Ethan. Vanessa was half sitting up in bed, her long black hair hanging messily over her shoulders, her eyes clouded and the smile on her face frail as a little bird. But what was worst, at least to Victor, was that she looked so small. True, Vanessa wasn't in any way an imposing figure, but what she lacked in physicality she usually made up for with a charismatic presence that drew more than a few eyes pretty much everywhere she went. Now, though, Vanessa looked like a mere shadow of herself.

She must have read some of his thoughts on his face, because she gave Victor a small smile: “Yes, I know, I'm not looking my best. Keeping up with my beautification routine is hard when my mind is drowned in antipsychotics.”

“Nonsense,” Victor replied quickly, almost curtly, “you look as beautiful as ever.”

Vanessa's smile widened into a grin: “You know, if you work on the delivery of that line, that whole girl- or boyfriend thing might work out some day.”

Victor frowned, then busied himself with dragging a chair to the bedside.

Ethan simply sat down on the edge of the bed, and reached over to take Vanessa's hand: “Any idea what brought this on?”

“I have an inkling,” Vanessa replied, then gave Ethan an apologetic smile: “But it's complicated and really personal, so don't take it the wrong way if I refuse to share.”

“That's ok,” Ethan said with a nod. “As long as you're getting better.”

“That I am.” 

For a moment, silence descended over the room, but before it could get really awkward, Victor picked up the conversation: “Proteus told me to say hello, and that he's sending hugs. He was rather worried when I told him.”

“He's such a sweetheart,” Vanessa said, her eyes lighting up a little. “Tell me how he's doing?”

“He seems fine. Lots of work, but you know Proteus. You can't stop him if there's a chance of learning something new. Also,” Victor couldn't help a giggle, “he's been asked out by three different people already.”

“Did he accept?”

“One of them. I think he's a bit smitten.”

They talked for a while longer, but it was obvious that keeping alert was exhausting for Vanessa, so in the end, Ethan leaned over to place a kiss on her forehead: “You should sleep a bit. Victor and me are going to be staying around at least until the Professor is back, so if you need anything, just holler.”

Vanessa gave both of them a smile, then curled up underneath her blanket.

Victor and Ethan made themselves comfortable in the living room, even though Victor had the suspicion that the room was more made for entertaining guests than actually living in. Or maybe that was because every space Victor occupied would get covered in books, drawings and notebooks sooner or later, so he tended to associate immaculately tidy rooms more with hospitals and labs than with actual living spaces. 

And then, of course, there was the huge map pinned to one of the walls: “The professor does have a thing for Africa, doesn't he?”

Ethan shrugged: “Well, it's his main area of study. Though he is a bit more obsessed with it than most other professors are with theirs.” Ethan grinned and shook his head: “He offered to take me along on one of his trips a while ago.”

“How is it that everyone but me gets offered great opportunities abroad?” Victor hadn't meant to sound so petulant, hadn't even meant to say that, and on top of that he now had to deal with the look Ethan was throwing him.

“Whoa. Testy.”

“Well, you're not the one who gets to stay behind while the people...” and this time Victor managed to stop himself before he could say _the people you're possibly in love with_ and instead added “...you're friends with leave for some epic adventure half the world away.”

“Hey, hey,” Ethan said, raising is hands in a placating gesture and grinning, his tone somewhere between teasing and fond, “don't worry, pal, I'm not going anywhere. I said no.”

“Why?” For a moment, Victor was genuinely confused. He knew that Ethan loved traveling the world – after all, he'd left his home in the US behind to study in England – so why shouldn't he have jumped at such an opportunity? Especially since Professor Murray had quite the reputation.

Ethan shrugged, pulling a pained face: “I don't think it would've been a good idea. Professor Murray is a great scholar and really good at what he does, but... well, don't tell him I said that, but he's also a total asshole.”

Victor blinked at Ethan, then put a hand in front of his mouth and tried in vain to stifle his laughter. 

“What's so funny?” Now, it was Ethan's turn to look confused.

“I... I don't know, really,” Victor said, still giggling, “but Murray is such an imposing figure and you seemed to look up to him and...” Faced with Ethan's still not quite comprehending face, Victor just waved his hand in the air: “Forget it.”

Ethan got up from the couch, stepping over to Victor and ruffling his hair: “Nerd.” Then, Ethan smiled conspiratorially: “Hey, I know where the Professor keeps his good booze.”

“But only one glass. I am never getting drunk with you again. Not after last time.”

“I wasn't suggesting getting drunk. After all, Vanessa might need us, should she wake up. But I don't think there's a rule against having a really good whiskey while on nursing duty. Or is there, doctor?”

“Nope. Not according to my knowledge.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Ow!” 

Victor got up and rubbed his hip, on which he had just fallen – or rather, been thrown – for the third time in a row.

“What did I tell you about the art of falling?” Ethan said, grinning and shaking his head. 

“Well, theory and practice are two entirely different things,” Victor grumbled. Then, he straightened up, going into position again.

“Ok,” Ethan squared up opposite him, rolling his shoulders once, “remember what I told you. It's all about physics. You got to take what your enemy is giving you and turn it against them. Action, reaction and all of that. You're shrimpy, so you got to let your enemy bring the fight to you if you want to stand a chance.”

The last bit had Victor glowering at Ethan. Yes, he was rather scrawny, especially compared to Ethan, who was pretty well built, but that didn't mean he liked to be reminded of it. He'd had enough of that at school. 

With a small nod, he let Ethan know that he was ready. He knew what to do. This time, he wouldn't let Ethan knock him to the floor. This time, Ethan would be the one...

Victor landed on the mat with a thud, but at least this time, he remembered how to brace his fall so that his poor hip didn't get smashed again. 

With a noise that was somewhere between a growl and a sigh, Victor pushed himself up again, ignoring the hand Ethan had offered him. 

“You want to call it quits for today?”

“No,” Victor said, squaring his jaw. “I'm not leaving until I've thrown you.” He gave Ethan a smirk: “Which means you're not leaving either. I hope Brona and you didn't have any plans for this evening.”

At that, Ethan laughed: “Don't worry, it won't take that long. You're actually doing OK.”

“If you say so,” Victor muttered.

He spent what felt like an eternity being thrown to the ground. His muscles were beginning to feel sore, his elbows and hip were screaming bloody murder at him, and he wanted nothing more than to call it a day. But he wouldn't. This was a matter of pride now. He wouldn't give up just because of a few failures. The one thing he had always had going for him, besides his brilliant mind, had been his tenacity. 

Which, after almost an hour, finally paid off. Ethan rushed at him, and Victor shifted his stance like that and his arms like so, putting out his foot and...

He was laying on the floor again on his back, but this time, Ethan was on the floor, too. Or, to be precise, he was laying on top of Victor. Which, now that Victor realized it, was kind of awkward. And also kind of nice. Which made it even more awkward, because right now Victor was aware of everything, from Ethan's weight on him right up to where his leg was. 

The worst thing, though, was that Ethan was not immediately getting up, but rather looking right at him, and Victor could have sworn that there was both curiosity and longing in those eyes. 

Before he even properly knew what he was doing, Victor leaned up, pressing his lips to Ethan's in what in retrospect was probably the most awkward kiss in the history of kissing. 

Ethan blinked, looking confused, and pushed himself up and off Victor. 

“Shit.” Victor scrambled to his feet and ran a hand through his hair. Nice move, Frankenstein. What on earth had possessed him to go ahead and kiss Ethan? Ethan, who was probably not interested in him that way at all and, even more importantly, was in a relationship? Goddamn. He was such an idiot. 

“Listen, Ethan, I'm sorry, I didn't...” What? Mean to kiss you? What kind of crap excuse was that?

All Victor wanted right now was to turn back the clock for just one minute or, as an alternative, for a gap to open up in the earth and swallow him. 

“No. It's ok, Victor. Really, it is.”

Before Victor could say anything, Ethan's hands were gently holding his face while their lips touched again, longer this time and definitely not accidental. 

When they pulled apart, it was Victor's turn to blink in confusion. Ethan had kissed him. But...

“What about Brona? You two are in a relationship, we can't just go and...”

“Kiss?” Ethan said, finishing Victor's sentence. Victor nodded, and Ethan reached out again to put a hand on Victor's arm: “Don't worry. Brona's ok with it.”

“How would you know that?” Victor asked, furrowing his brow. How could Brona be fine with something that just happened a few minutes ago? How could Brona be fine with her boyfriend just going around kissing people? 

“Because we talked about it.” 

Victor's expression grew even more suspicious, and for some reason, Ethan seemed to find that amusing.

“Don't look at me like that,” Ethan chuckled, “I'm telling the truth. See, we have an polyamorous relationship. It's fine if one of us, or both of us, pursue relationships outside of the one between her and me, as long as the other one's given the green light.”

So Brona had given the green light on this? But it had just happened. How could she have...

“Wait a minute. You planned this?”

Ethan shrugged: “Planned isn't the right word, but since stuff like this happens sometimes, we tend to get the other one's opinion even before things happen. You know. If one of us feels something more for another person.”

“So you've been feeling something for me?”

“Yes, genius,” Ethan replied, smiling, and before Victor could say anything more, Ethan's lips were on his again, wiping away any sarcastic reply Victor could have come up with. 

Victor knew that Ethan had no problems with public displays of affection, but well, he had never been the one receiving them. Which made it a bit strange, walking to his dorm with Ethan next to him, occasionally slinging an arm around his shoulders and nuzzling into his hair. 

Strange, but not unwelcome. He felt warm and almost giddy with joy, his stomach fluttering. He was pretty sure that this was what people were talking about when they said they were having butterflies in their stomach when they were in love. And Victor was in love. He had tried to deny it, to push it aside because he had been certain that he had no chance in hell, but apparently, he had been dead wrong about that. 

They did get a few stares, which made Victor feel quite self-aware and seemed to only spur Ethan on. Really, Ethan's thick skin and ability to simply not give a fuck were enviable. 

Once they were in front of the door to Victor's dorm room, though, he felt the familiar feeling of awkwardness creep back. He had no idea what was expected of him. Should he invite Ethan inside? On the one hand, he kind of wanted to, but on the other he was way too nervous to actually do it. This was unfamiliar territory, and while that excited him when it came to science, he absolutely didn't like it in social settings. 

“So...” Victor said, fiddling with his his hands and looking at Ethan with a half-smile. 

In lieu of a reply, Ethan bent down to kiss him, once again erasing everything but the feeling of joy from Victor's mind. 

Then, Ethan pulled back: “See each other at lunch tomorrow?” 

“Sure,” Victor said, his smile widening. 

“You should probably put some ointment on that hip of yours. Helps with the bruising.”

“I don't have any,” Victor said, grimacing. “I never needed it, seeing how I usually avoid things that have the capacity to get me hurt. Well, except when it comes to running my mouth.”

Ethan rummaged around in his bag: “Here, I got some. Take it. I don't want to have to see you limping around campus, knowing full well that I'm to blame for it.”

Victor laughed, shaking his head: “You're such a boy scout. Always prepared for everything. Or, of course, you had all of this planned again. Putting me on my back a few times.” 

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Victor realized how that had sounded in the light of recent events, and hastily evaded Ethan's eyes.

Luckily, Ethan seemed to have chosen to overlook that bit of unintended innuendo: “No planning, it's simple experience.”

Victor inwardly heaved a sigh of relief, then looked at Ethan again: “Thank you. See you tomorrow, then.”

“Good night.”

“Good night, Ethan.” 

Victor leaned in for another kiss, then vanished through the door into his room. Well, that had been an exciting day. He should really tell Proteus about it, he thought, opening his laptop.


	6. Chapter 6

Despite what Ethan had said, Victor couldn't help but feel awkward around Brona the next day. Very, very awkward. After all, he had kissed her boyfriend, something that usually led to tears, shouting and angry break-ups. It wasn't made any easier by him feeling awkward around Ethan, too, at least when the others were around. 

If this was what being in a relationship felt like, maybe he shouldn't have gone ahead and kissed Ethan after all. 

Victor spent most of his time at lunch staring at his food and occasionally poking it with a fork, and he was almost relieved when Ethan and Brona got up, leaving him to his by now cold lasagna. 

His relief didn't last long, though, seeing how Brona was laying in wait for him on the steps to the mess hall: “We need to talk.”

Victor flinched, trying not to look at her: “I guess so...” 

Maybe she wasn't as cool with the whole thing after all?

“I know you probably feel really damn awkward right now, but I'm gonna tell you right now to at least try to cut it out, or else it's going to be a long and uncomfortable semester for all of us.”

Looking up, Victor was met with a look of fond annoyance: “Pretty sure you already heard this from Ethan, but I'm going to back him up and tell you, yes, I'm totally all right with you two getting it on. So you don't need to spend the next months slinking around like a dog who tore up the morning paper. Actually,” she continued, giving Victor a friendly slap on the arm, “I'd prefer if we could just go on like we used to. With a little bit more kissing between you and our shared boyfriend.”

“I'll try,” Victor said, scratching the back of his neck and feeling a little embarrassed at his own insecurities, “but I'm not giving any guarantees. I'm still digesting the whole matter of, well, the kissing in and on itself.”

“God, Victor, you're such a dork.”

–

He did get used to the kissing rather quickly. The matter of it occasionally happening around Brona took a while longer to get comfortable with, but it helped that Ethan never did anything more than kiss him around other people, even her.

When other people weren't around, though...

Ethan's teeth were lodged onto Victor's shoulder, which would probably leave a mark, but Victor didn't mind. The only thing he would have minded right now would have been Ethan removing his hand from around their cocks, but that wasn't going to happen, not even if the building collapsed around them. 

Victor was giving as good as he was getting, his fingernails digging into the skin on Ethan's back, but not with the intent to hurt, no, he just needed something to hold on to while the world around him fell away. He was biting his lip in an effort to not be too noisy, because after all, they were in his room in the dorms, on his bed and the walls were thin but oh god this was just too good, too overwhelming.

With a short yell, Victor finally came, feeling as if the building actually had collapsed around him, along with the rest of the universe. Everything but Ethan and him and the bed. 

When the world finally came back, the first thing Victor saw was Ethan's face, smiling at him with a mixture of pride and sweetness. Smiling back, Victor leaned in for a kiss, then rested his forehead against Ethan's.

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” Ethan said, hugging Victor close, “pretty much what I'd say.”

–

“Vanessa! Good to see you,” Victor said, a smile brightening his face. 

Vanessa smiled back, taking his hands: “It's good to see you, too. And not in the capacity of a visitor to my sickbed.”

“I'm glad you're coming along with us to pick up Proteus. He'll explode with joy, seeing us all there. Especially since he doesn't expect it,” Victor added with a sly grin.

“Don't tell me the poor boy thinks that no one's going to come to welcome him home?”

“That's exactly what he's thinking,” Ethan cut in, “since Victor doesn't even know how to drive a car.”

“Is Dorian coming?” Brona said, looking around with a small frown on her face.

“No,” Vanessa said, shaking her head and smiling sadly. “We broke up.”

“Don't tell me that asshole dumped you just because...”

Vanessa held up a hand, stopping Brona's rant before it had even properly begun: “He didn't dump me. I was the one doing the breaking up.” She gave a small sigh: “I'm really not ready for a relationship right now, especially not one with someone who has at least as many issues as myself.”

“Smart choice.”

Ethan clapped his hands once: “Come on, guys. Let's roll. Else, the plane will be there before us.”

“Wouldn't want that,” Victor said, taking Ethan's hand. “He deserves to be greeted by all of his friends.”


End file.
